All I am saying is.... "If there is no blood, don't get up"
Now, if you choose to take this literally (which I must admit I have not) you could possibly end up with some seriously independent, self sufficient, perhaps emotionally stunted but sincerely bruised children.
Or, if you take it as "I am not going to get up unless I am really, REALLY, really needed" it can help in your implementation of francophile inspired parenting.
Meaning, little Suzy needs help moving a toy (that she can safely move on her own) and is screaming for you to help. Don't. Let her learn to troubleshoot and figure out her own problems. I promise if Suzy really needs you she will get your attention (they always do right?) Will there be some yelling at first? Absolutely! Will there maybe be some bruises? Yep
Exhibit A - Sutton one night after I told her not to go in the puddle of Kenzington's water on the floor. She busted her lip, and yes there was blood so I did ABSOLUTELY get up.
But I was still channeling the francophile wisdom. I didn't rush to the puddle of water as if it was some radioactive spill that would cause my child to grow another head. I handled it calmly (as spilt anything really should) and told my child calmly that she needed to stay away. She understood. She looked right at it, then me, then the puddle again and walked straight into that floor. But it was the start of her learning that "Mumma is in control. Mumma will help me and warn me but I need to listen. Mumma will pick me up when I fall and will love me no matter what." yep, all of that was learned from a fat lip.
Hopefully the more you work at it the better you and your kids will get. What should start to happen is you and your child will be able to identify true emergencies and true situations in which they need your help.
This rule is difficult. It's hard to say "no" to your kids when you know that you can easily help them, especially if you can get yourself away from a possible meltdown in public, or even help them get a good grade on a project. (Come on, we all know them... those parents who did all the work for their kids and now their children have Phd's in some field without actually doing any work.) You laugh? I know a few.
Even though life is crazy, unstructured, improbable, and full of wonderful and awful surprises, your job as a parent (or at least how I define mine) is to love, (not enable) nurture, (not hoover) educate (not learn it for them) and teach them how to be an adult. Those manners include everything from how to behave in public to learning what constitutes as a massive, run through the doors screaming MOMMY type-of-a-moment.
Crawford in "French Twist" really does a great job of explaining more of these awesome francophile parenting wisdoms. Check out her book if you want to know more.
I still will encourage you to try it and give it a shot. Take a breather and have your children come to you with their problems rather than yelling through the house. Let me know how its going and what you would change.
- Bon Chance Mon Ami
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